Napping is one of our absolute favorite things! But it didn’t used to be. Harris refused, literally refused, to sleep until he either collapsed from exhaustion around 3pm, or until night time. This would, of course, lead to an overtired baby, which made his fussiness and colic so much worse. We didn’t know what to do because he clearly had FOMO. He would nod off and quickly pop his eyes back open to see what was happening in the room. And if we tried to isolate him, he would nap MAYBE fifteen minutes and be crying (read: screaming) for someone to come get him. We were at the end of our rope with a colicky, sleep deprived kid. Our doctor explained that some kids need to learn how to sleep. That was an aha moment for me: it was my job to teach my son to sleep a healthy amount. That’s when I got serious about napping, and here’s what we did (warning: this is a PROCESS. It took us about ten days. But it was so worth it!):

Abbreviated Version:

Step One: Get the Huckleberry App

Step Two: Move him off you and onto something else

Step Three: Analyze the chart

Step Four: Move him to his room

Step Five: Move him to his crib

Step Six: Leave him in the crib awake

Step One:

Download the Huckleberry app. This is crucial. Its a free app, and it is a life saver. I never thought I would be a charting mom, but my kid made me a charting mom. I’m going to do a product review of the Huckleberry app where I explain everything about it, but for this post, just know it charts his sleep. We got the app and started charting everything, even ten minute cat naps. We gave the log in to anyone who would be watching so they could chart too. Below is an example of the Huckleberry app from when we were about two weeks into our napping process. You can see, he is napping four to five times a day, and there is about an hour and a half between naps. This information will be crucial as the steps continue. But at first, your chart will probably be much more random (the app already deleted our older charts or I would share them). That’s ok. These are baby steps!

Step Two:

I needed to get Harris to start napping somewhere other than my chest. This was step one for us in regards to getting him into his own crib. To do this, I just let him sleep anywhere else: a boppy pillow or in bed beside me. No, I did NOT start co-sleeping with my baby. Nothing against it in general, just wasn’t right for us. I would let him nap only in bed while I stayed awake reading on my Kindle so I could be sure he didn’t suffocate or roll off the bed. I looked at this time as “me time,” even though sometimes I resented being stuck there. All the while, I was tracking his sleeping. I noticed here that he began napping longer and deeper. When he was consistently napping well at least twice a day on a boppy or in bed with me, I was ready for step three.

Step Three:

I analyzed the chart. I tried to find any kind of pattern. In Harris’s case, I noticed he always napped around 7am and 2pm. He also almost always fell asleep by 7:40pm. This was good to know. Now I could start moving him to his room.

Step Four:

At the first consistent-ish nap time, I would take Harris upstairs to his room. I would begin a routine that I continue with today. Harris needed napping cues, so our napping cues were going to his room, being on the changing table, giving him a pacie, changing his diaper, putting on his onesie, hearing the white noise come on, moving to the rocker, putting him on the boppy pillow, and giving him the bottle until he fell asleep. This process was and still is a crucial indicator that it is time for sleep. Step four is the hardest step for sure. Once he began noticing that we were about to nap, he would start crying. It got so bad he even started clawing at my face and pulling my hair. I know that sounds terrible, but remember, sleep is so healthy and some babies need to be taught to sleep. Harris was one of those, so while this was a hard step, it was so necessary for his health. So, I began meditating during this time haha Seriously, though. I would just let him cry it out. I comforted him, but that’s it. I never stopped the napping process. He would eventually fall asleep. This phase lasted a good week, I hate to say. But it does end and is so worth it! Don’t forget to chart!

Step Five:

Start to notice his sleeping cues outside of the times you know he will nap. For example, I noticed Harris rubs his eyes and gets a kind of “glazed over” look about him when he gets sleepy. At these times, I would also bring him upstairs and do the napping process. He fought during these times too, but much more quickly fell into the routine than in step four.

Step Six:

Once you know your baby’s sleepy cues, have a nap routine down, and have him napping on you in his nursery, it is time to move him to the crib. To do this, I started by letting him fall asleep on me on the boppy pillow first. I did not put him down “drowsy but awake” yet. I put him down sleeping. That was ok with me, as I knew we would move to drowsy but awake. But to start, I let him fall asleep first. He may wake up after twenty minutes at first. That’s ok. He will grow accustomed to it. Once he is napping in his crib several times a day, you are ready to start putting him “drowsy but awake.” Note: As the day progressed, Harris would be more challenging to nap on his own. I was patient during this, and would allow him to nap on me for the last nap of the day. That lasted for a few weeks, and I was ok with that because I didn’t want to do “cry it out” until he was six months. If you are ok with crying it out a bit, the last nap of the day may be a good place to start.

Step Six
We started to put him down drowsy but awake. This means such different things to different people. For me, it meant waking him a bit when I transitioned him from the boppy to the crib. I didn’t wake him up, but I didn’t try to keep him asleep either. He would usually open his eyes and then fall back asleep. Rarely would he actually wake up. As time marched on, I began putting him in the crib earlier and earlier. Eventually, he fell into such a routine for napping, that he would fall asleep on the changing table! So this step was actually fairly easy.

That’s it! It was not easy, but it was not painful either. The hardest part was listening to him cry as he tried to fight sleep during step four. But if you can make it past step four, your baby will get in a habit of sleeping at similar times everyday. The Hucklebery app, if kept up with consistently, will be such a help for this. I would find that Harris was asleep after being awake for an hour and a half. This meant that after an hour and ten minutes, we would start our napping process. So while we didn’t have a schedule, we did have a flexible routine. And then I would notice that he was beginning to nap an hour and forty-five minutes after begin awake, so I was able to start moving the nap process back a bit.

Napping Tips that Worked for Us:

1. Harris started in a onesie and swaddle, moved to a onesie and sleep sack, and now sleeps in just a fully body onesie. Our house is kept at around 68, so I always want to be sure he is warm and cozy, but not too hot.

2. Harris began using a Lovey at around three months. He would fall asleep with it and I would remove it after he was asleep in his crib. At around four months, the doctor said he was strong enough for it to be safe to leave in the crib with him, so he has it full time in there. He loves it and it helps so much.

3. Keeping Harris active in between naps is crucial for a nap to happen, especially as we were developing the habit. For us that means lots of tummy time and supported standing, errands close to the house (I don’t want him to nap in the car, as the naps are not as solid). pool time, play dates, etc. We do not do much sitting or laying around. But about ten minutes before the nap, I stop all activity and just relax, preferably outside. Those ten minutes are a nice segue and relaxing time for him to get ready for his nap.

4. If we are traveling or if the day is not typical, such as workers coming to the house and being too loud for him to sleep, the most important thing for us has always been maintaining the habit. That he SLEEPS trumps HOW he sleeps. For example, when we were getting our kitchen redone, we had someone there for three days banging around. There was no chance Harris was napping in his room for very long. So I sacrificed him sleeping in his crib for him just plain sleeping. I let him sleep in bed with me because that’s a sure fire way to get a nap from him. We can always back track on the crib training, as it is so much easier for us than the nap training. Same with travel days. However he is definitely going to sleep is much more important than getting him to sleep exactly where we want.

5. I love pacies. I don’t have anything against them. I did originally, but our doctor recommended it and they have been awesome. As Harris aged and we started a very small amount of graduated extinction at night, the pacie has become a nonissue. We did, however, have a period of time where we played the pacie game (he spits it out, cries, we put it back in, repeat). Yes, this was annoying, but has been quickly fixed with minimal graduated extinction.

6. We use white noise, ocean waves. I think sound machines are great, and I see them as a blessing, especially in our house of four dogs and a husband who works from home right down the hall from Harris’s room.

7. We don’t use blackout curtains, as we wanted him to see the difference between night and day. We did, however, black out the skylight that is in his nursery. Note to self: do not put nurseries where sky lights are.

Comment below any questions or advice you have for getting a resistant infant to nap. We are all in this together!